the circle of life...

i remember just a few years ago, i was able to go out with a tight tee on me and looked damn hot... now, even with a girdle, ppl ask me if i'm pregnant!!!

i used to laugh until i cried, now i cried until i laughed!

i had amazing gorgeous EXPENSIVE shoes, now they're all kept to collect dust as i can't fit in them anymore!

i'd be able to eat crap and still look good, now all the craps are going either to my tummy, thighs or double chin!

but...

now, though i have debts, i have my own home.
and a husband... and not to forget, my bundle of joy who never fails to make me smile.
that may not seem like much.. but it's enough to get me through the cruel circle of life (well, cruel to my body lah)

mellow me...

i've been extremely mellow today..
if u don't believe me, ask Aishah...
something thats supposed to be funny got me tearing up...
and ive been doing quite a few thinking lately...
i don't necessarily like to think...
thinking leads to procrastinating...
haih...
see i'm still thinking...
if it wasn't for my baby's very light sleep, i'd prolly still be thinking
but i gotta switch off my laptop, and join my boy on the mattress.
i miss home...
i miss my hubby..
but he's coming home tomorrow...
i wonder if i could ask him to bring me out shopping...
OMG Woman! Stop thinking.

Aishah, esok buat hairband...
we need to figure out a way to get rich soon...
so u can get ur iPhone... and i can pay off my debts...
Good night World...
I LOVE YOU
(What the?!!???)

we all gotta start from somewhere...

as i spent the remainder of the night being a couch potato in my parent's EXTREMELY COMFORTABLE state-of-the-art (ok, exxagerating here) lazyboy, I wondered why hubby and i didn't get the ciplak and a fraction of the real lazyboy price while we were furniture hunting.

These are my answers:

1. They're HUGE
2. They take up space
3. They're fake
4. They're HUGE (which brings me to the conclusion that my house is small)

Throughout my life, i can safely say that i am blessed, though don't get me wrong, i do crave for the extra perks in life. Having been given an opportunity to study abroad, to understand people... and to feel what it's like to stand on my own two feet. whilst i may not enjoy every second of it, i do appreciate the chance i had to experience all this.

so, i guess what i'm trying to say here, is that firstly, i didn't buy that lazyboy because i wanted the original with the 10 year guarantee just because i didn't want to settle for a second/or third even grade version of the real deal, secondly, because my house IS small, and that's only because i have to start from the bottom... from the real means that i have and thirdly, why couldn't all these thoughts come to me at a more appropriate time? not at midnite!

i believe im not done thinking... well, we'll see...

~im thankful for my resources, my family which i was born into, my friends and most importantly, my own little family that we made~

Thank you Allah for blessing me. Amin... ;)