I have been blog jumping lately n it amazes me how many ppl are livin interesting lives.
I, however, am living on a routine. Wake up, shower, gets adams breakfast ready, send them to the nursery, go to work, come home from work, pick them up, play with them n put them to sleep.
Well this happens every weekday n on friday, hubby comes back from singapore for the weekend.
N this will go on, insyaAllah for 6 months.
In between overloading workload, running around trying to take care of 2 boys, getting my professional registration on the way n other matters, i am left with little or no time for myself.
I've been hearing the term supermak or overprotective mak. To me im just trying to be a surviving mak.
I take this all in stride. Put on a happy face n live my day to day life.
Am i tired? Hell yeah. Can i get thru this? Only time will tell.
I need stability in life. But if this is what i have to go thru in order to achieve it, ill do it. Ill sacrifice everything in order to get the stability that i deserve.
But for now, im on a quest of the surviving mak.
I miss my home
I miss my complete family
I miss my messy bed...
it's been a while since i sat down n thought about nothing. it seems that time goes by so fast that i'm not able to enjoy every single one of your companies. but always know that you guys are always on my mind.
to the eldest boy, my hubby a.k.a mr daddy, you've given me two wonderful albeit challenging boys. when i look at them i see us as a whole unit. n however messed up it might be, it works for us. n for allllll the time i expect you to do things n babble n go on my hormonal rage, you were always there to cool me down, and also to make me angry again :p for everything we've been thru, i cherish everything and expect a whole lifetime of challenging and happy times with you.
to my first son, adam danish a.k.a adam gedik a.k.a adam, yes, me and you we are one of a kind. that's why when we're close we're really close. and when we're arguing... well, let's just say there's daddy to clear the tension :p you are stubborn, hot headed and sometimes a little too smart for comfort. your antique never fails to amuse me. just one word of wisdom, when you play and mess up the house, please clean it up again. or i will call to monkey to bite you. ;) muhammad adam danish, just like your brother, both of you have my love, attention and devotion before you were ever born into this world. i love you two.
to my second son, aariz danish, a.k.a bob, aariz wong, dompot and many other names that i can't even remember at the moment. you came out at 3.31kg and like any expected 2nd child, you were stubborn from the get go. labour with you took almost 24 hours! and just like your brother, everything changed when you came into our life. all our priorities were put aside to concentrate on you. on making sure that your brother didn't make you into his own ball. Alhamdulillah to Allah, the transition went superbly (got such word?) and every day all my tired and worries at word is cleared the moment i see your face. can't wait for you to bond with your brother and give more headache to mummy and daddy.
every once in a while, i would stop and evaluate my life. pause if for a moment if i could, just to cherish all the things that i have been blessed with. the truth is, i am truly blessed. i may complain once in a while (my husband might beg to differ) but i love all the challenges and all the gifts that i have in life.
Someone invading my personal space. I may be messy n disorganized, but last I check, it's my table, not yours! So get ur grubby paws of my space n get lost! The least u can do is ask for permission... Haih... Whatever happens to common courtesy?
it's almost midnight, my boy sleeping soundly beside me, n his daddy sleeping soundly too (well, i hope he is asleep) in another bed in Langkawi.. it's been a lil more than a month now since i've changed my status to a 'weekend wife' and what started to be a very lethargic change of routine has somewhat become a new routine for me. don't get me wrong, it's still very lethargic, especially with my baby bump growing every single hour, me craving for food every waking second and having a little boy throwing tantrums once in a while can get the most of me, especially since i'm running around all over the place. but... i can say that i am lucky enough to be able to find the silver lining... i start to look at the bigger picture and not worry so much about the little things in life... i appreciate my marriage even more... i appreciate my life even more.. oh, n i get treated like a queen everytime hubby comes back from Langkawi... if this is what i have to live with in order for my family to get what we have all been wishing for, then so be it. oh, as an update to myself, we're having another boy! yay! another hero for me! EDD is still end Jan but my gynae tells me to get myself ready around mid-Jan. Mid-Jan? haha i'm already starting to buy things for the new bub... :P what else... oh hubby received his long overdue bonus & increment... Alhamdulillah... kesian tgk die working so hard... finally it's all paying off! my lil adam is now my very own boombox, if he's not singing, he's dancing and shouting, never a dull moment in mummy's life. and as for me, i'm hanging in there... no major complaints. of coz me being a human being always wanting more... but who isn't? i have 2 meetings and a list of things to do at work this week so it's definitely not something i'm lookin forward to but at least at the end of the week i'm getting my pay! shopping lagik... :) i have my eyes on a shopping bag but i still think i can resist the temptation... ok ok tido time before i continue thinking... good nite everyone.... daddy n adam, i love u two! n lil baby in the tummy, i love u too!
these are the men in my life, the people who i wake up to, and sleep next to...
Exhibit A: Mohd Syazwan (the husband)
Always the disciplinarian, but bendable if you know the right buttons to push. This morning, he knew that i didn't have enough sleep and when i woke up to get Adam's things ready for taska, he had washed all the bottles n made Adam's breakfast. whilst i have already have an amazing family, i'm also extremely blessed to have great in-laws as i have heard some stories about horror in-laws.
Exhibit B: Muhammad Adam Danish (the son)
Cheeky, naughty, makes you want to bite him every single second, attentive, lasak. Sometimes when i look into his eyes, i feel a little sad, not knowing how he will react to having another little brother/sister. but i guess that's our job as parents to make sure that he knows that he is still loved the same. his smile is enough to light up anyone's day and while i can't wait for him to fall asleep, i keep on missing him even though he's sleeping right next to me.
there's the ever so famous quote of men: can't live with them, can't live without them. well, for me, it's my men, can't live without them.